[ Speeding at full zoom , Monaco drives back to Parrot ‘ s Villa . While in shock and denial ,she nervously paces the floor . She starts soliloquizes loudly in a schizophrenic manner. ]
— Monaco : “ Oh mon Dieu. What shall I do now ? . If I do call the police , they’ll find the body in the deep freezer in and I’ll be implicated. I heard Parrot screaming in agony and a shot fired. Could he still be alive ? . [ she goes to the freezer and opens the lid . ] “ Still no smell . Good . Let me go and sleep it off , for tomorrow is another day. [ she closes the lid , but keeps it ajar for aeration . She goes to sleep . While rattling, the red and yellow coral snake appears. It encircles Monaco’s sleeping body and then , in a smooth wavy motion , drags itself to the top of the stairs. Having no eyelids , it rolls itself and goes to sleep , with it’s staring eyes widely open . The camera now moves to Dig’s house . It’s midnight. ] .
— Copenhagen: “ What happened ? . Why did we carry a heavy load to the cemetery ? . Did I do something wrong ? . “
— Dig : “ Calm down . You did well . I heard a cry and then a shot . I rushed to the kitchen and saw you standing in front of the corpse , holding the spade. Probably, your subconscious instinctual reflex , made you act first . you’re lucky . I checked the fired bullet . It was blank .
I removed his revolver and searched his pockets. I took his keys . I am worried about mum . Let me phone her . [ He dials her mobile .] . “ No answer . Let me go to Parrot’s Villa and make sure she’s safe. Will be back before sunrise.” [ Dig leaves and drives to Parrot’s Villa. With Parrot’s keys , he opens the front door and goes in .
With his torch lit , he cautiously starts climbing the stairs. When he reaches the top , he steps on the sleeping snake . It curls up and stretches out to defend itself . From fear , Dig panics , rolls down the stairs and fell on his back . The snake drags itself on the ground, thrusting it ‘s body in curves , in an undulatory locomotion .
From the slightly opened lid , It slides and slips inside the freezer. At 8 AM , next morning , Monaco wakes up . She walks down the stairs and is surprised to see Dig lying on his back ,on the floor . ] .
— Monaco : “ Shit ! “ .
— Dig : “ Madam . Toilet this way . “
— Monaco : “ What the fuck are you doing here ? . “
— Dig : “ Looking for mum . I think the snake bit me. Can’t move . I don’t know who I am anymore . “.
— Monaco:” You are U , with a Y sex chromosome. You sexy bastard . Let me first suck the poison out , you sucker . “
— Dig : “ You are as beautiful as a cleopatra butterfly….” .
— Monaco: ( cuts in) “ Thank you . “.
— Dig : “ Wait until you hear the rest . I meant to say , ‘ you’re as beautiful as a Cleopatra mosquito. “ .
— Monaco: “ Oh really . At last you found your voice . “ .
— Dig : “ ‘ Cause I’m angry . Don’t talk to me anymore. “
— Monaco: “ Then, shall I send you an email ? . “
— Dig : “ I prefer a female. “.
— Monaco : “ Would you like me to do you a blow job ? “ .
— Dig : Sacré bleu . It’s sacrilegious and taboo . Fellatio may transmit herpes , papilloma , gonorrhea and hepatitis B . I will never kiss you again.”
— Monaco: “ Tant pis . I was joking . Never did it . Come on now . Pop it out . “.
— Dig : “ I can’t . will my tongue do ? ( he pops out his tongue) , It’s as long as it goes .”
— Monaco: “ it’s OK . I can handle it . I prefer girth to length . I’ll teach you how to tit and clit . Your tongue is ideal for a clitoris massage , if you do know , how to give it a dry kiss , without saliva . To excite you , I’m gonna tickle your ear lobe . Then I’m gonna clip your two nipples with a wire and activate the battery machine . Perhaps, you’ll get a nipple orgasm , and help you to swell .( she clips him and switches the machine . ). “.
— Dig : ( screams in agony .) “ Stop . I’m having a nipple explosion . I prefer if you comb my pubic cock’s hairy plumes with your feet . “
— Monaco: “ I will , after you chatouille my ventre .”
— Dig : ( while caressing her belly ) “ It’s moving. Look down . What do you see ? .
— Monaco: “ I see ‘ Lockdown(s) . Both our sexes are interlocked in an embrace. [ In a frenzy rouse , Monaco mounts Dig , and starts lashing him with a whip , like riding a horse . She then hits him with a donkey punch on his trapezius back neck . “.
— Dig : ( whining in pain ) “ What are you doing crazy woman . Trying to kill me ? . “.
— Monaco : “ How can I ! You are the father of my daughter’s fetus . “ .
— Dig : “ How did you know ? .
— Monaco: “ When Parrot fired you , he told me to follow you . I stalked you. While you were hiding in the cemetery , I sneaked to your house and saw my daughter fast asleep on the bed . I searched the house and found the marriage certificate. Also , I have inflatable and fattening news to tell you . I am enceinte .
So , you see , we are family now . You’re the husband and father of my Daughter’s fetus , and also the father of my embryo. “ . [ Dig starts crying from joy .] “ So , let us celebrate . I shall sabrage a bottle of Champagne . “
— Dig : “ But , please be careful. Don’t chop off my head . [ With a sword , Monaco swiftly cut off the top neck of the Champagne bottle]
— Monaco: “ Napoleon, used to say ‘ In victory , one deserves champagne , in defeat one needs it . ‘ Now that we are one family , and to show your goodwill and love to my daughter, you have to sign the will which I’ve already prepared , giving everything to my daughter . Lock. , stock and barrel . Only then , will I give my blessings to the marriage. “ . [ While drunk , Dig signs the Will. ].
— Dig : “ Now that we are family , tell me the truth . Did you kill my mum ?“
— Monaco: “ Not at all . Follow me and I’ll show you the proof. “ [ She escorts him to the freezer . They slowly open the ajar lid and behold the serpent devouring the decomposed corpse ,leaving only bones.]
— Dig : ( disturbed) “ Oh my God . It’s true. If you wish harm to someone , sooner or later, harm will catch up with you , blowing like a harmattan dry and dusty wind . “ .
— Monaco: “ Do you know who killed Parrot ? “. .
— Dig : “ I suspect , your daughter did , in self- defense . “
— Monaco: “ It doesn’t matter now. Let’s join forces and move on. You run your mum’s hacienda , and I’ll manage Parrot estate . “
[Six months later . Copenhagen’s baby is born and they named her Paris . Three months after , Monaco’s baby is born and she named him Bastardo].
— Monaco: “ Dear son in law and lover and father to both Paris and Bastardo . Some space between spouses is sane and safe . I suggest that you go to the Hacienda , for a while . This will give me and my daughter , a chance to catch up with lost time . Don’t dare to have side affairs on the sideline“ .
— Dig : “ It’s a fucking clichée , but still , I’ll go ‘cause I can’t stand anymore the non-stop screaming of the babies. “ .
— Monaco: “ So , it’s settled. Go pack and buzz off .”. [. Dig leaves the house . Enters Copenhagen. ] .
— Copenhagen: “ Tell me the truth mother. Who is the father of Bastardo, my half brother ? “ .
— Monaco: “ Really , I don’t know. I have a confession to say and hope you understand. It could be Parrot . It could be Dig with whom I had a brief affair . Or , it could be the stranger I met on the TGV on the way to London .
It was a one night stand , done without protection. You see , it was all done in a short space of time . That’s why I named your half brother Bastardo. [complete silence] “ My cute Copenhagen. Try to remember. Your daughter was born prematurely in the seventh month, and yet did not need an incubator . Are you sure that Dig is the father ? “.
— Copenhagen “Let me think . My memory is slowly coming back. You’re right. I used to have a boyfriend during my vacation to the Amazon . I do remember now . My period stopped three months before I arrived to London . “
— Monaco : ( breathing a sigh of relief) “ Good . What else do you remember ? Did he ever forced himself on you ? “ .
— Copenhagen : “ I don’t know. Didn’t feel anything. I was drugged all the time. He used to love animals , particularly insects. “.
— His name is Dig but he has no dignity . You’re doing well , continue remembering. “ .
— ‘Copenhagen: “ I do remember, we used to watch the film ‘ Octopussy ‘ , over and over again. He once told me , he loved being a single widower, so as to screw without strings.”
— Monaco: “ This barking bastard . I’ll teach him a lesson . “ .
— Copenhagen: “ Also , just remembered, when I searched the attic , I found my sister Paris ‘s bag and inside it her purse . “ .
— Monaco: “ Oh mon Dieu . A serial killer as well. Where could he have hidden her ? “ .
— Copenhagen: “ I once helped him throw a corpse in the hole of the cemetery . Let me show you . “. [ They both go to the deep hole in the cemetery and start digging . They remove the layers of earth, and find the skeletons of Parrot and Paris . Copenhagen and Monaco start crying , and lament with tears their loss . They cover the hole and go back inside the housefly . ].
— Copenhagen: “ What shall we do now ? . “.
— Monaco : “ We stay cool . I’ll call him to come back tomorrow . I’ll throw him a red herring to mislead him . He must not suspect anything .
Meanwhile , I’m gonna go out and buy him three gifts . A blue Octopus , a black widow scorpion and a paralyzing spider. “
[Next Evening . Monaco, Copenhagen and Dig are in the sitting room, next to a lit chimney , sipping champagne, getting drunk . ] .
— Dig : ( eying with admiration, the smooth glass of the Aquarium,home to the Octopus,scorpion & spider ) “ Thank you Monaco for the beautiful gifts . Are they deadly insects. ? . “ ,
— Monaco: “ Not at all. They are cuddly and harmless home pets . “ .
— Dig : “ I thought so. Tonight, let’s be merry and happy, for we don’t know what tomorrow is hiding for us . “ . [ They keep drinking and toasting , until Dig passes away from over – drinking . Monaco and Copenhagen carry him to the bed and cover him with the sheets. ] .
— Monaco: “ It’s safer to sleep in my bed tonight. “ .
— Copenhagen: “ Oh thanks mum . I was about to ask you the same question . . “. [. 3 AM in the morning. . A Shadow of a Silhouette is approaching the aquarium. The Octopus,scorpion and spider are removed from the container . In darkness , the shadow moves to Dig’s bedroom . He removes the sheets from three different angles , and inserts the three poisonous insects . The shadow disappears. Few minutes later, a terrible shrieking scream is heard . Both , Monaco and Copenhagen awake in startles and rush towards Dig’s bedroom . They see Dig paralyzed and shaking like a leaf. With a glacé look , he eyes them with disbelief. He then utters a roaring scream and dies . Both Monaco and Copenhagen, stare at each other, with accusing eyes . ] .
— Monaco: “ keep your sang-froid . Let’s carry him and drop him in the deep hole . [ Once they buried him . ] .
— Monaco: “ This deep hole is turning into a catacomb crypt . “ .
— Copenhagen: “ Did you kill him mum ? . “ .
—- “ Monaco: “ I did not . But I did kill Parrot to protect you . Remember , when we came to search for you , I saw you standing in front of Parrot with a spade . He turned around and was about to shoot you . I grabbed a spade from the garden and hit him on the head from behind . I then run away .
[Cessation of Act V . Part 2 to follow . ] .