Bar is lit . Dick walks in and installs himself on the stool opposite Nico. Time : 8 pm.
—Dick:” Have you seen my wife ? “ .
— Nico:” (hesitating) She just left . You don’t look well sir . Anything wrong ? “.
— Dick:” My marriage is on the rocks . Rock bottom”. ( Nico puts on rock and roll music which are heard through the loudspeakers).
—-Nico:” Awful . I suggest a double ass vodka cocktail .Believe me. It’s a mind eraser . You will feel single again and all your toil problems will be flushed down the toilet. “
—Dick :” Cheers to that and to our new friendship. As they say , ‘ keep your friends close but your spirits closer . How do you rank yourself on a scale of one to ten ?” .
— Nico:” Me, I am a naïve potty . Half-baked . An insignificant mosquito . Prefer to listen than to talk . An absolute Zero . “ .
— Dick:” That’s absolutely OK. Winners of formula one , drive cars with number O . People who keep talking, empty themselves, and those who listen , fill themselves with wisdom or shit , depending on who is talking “.
—- Nico:” But , I never had any wisdom tooth . “ .
— Dick:” It doesn’t matter. Just stay silent and keep nodding . “
— Nico:”What if they discover the truth ? . “.
— Dick :” Just shout ‘ Eureka and leave. Tell me , suppose you only have an hour to live, what would be your last wish .? .
— Nico:” Being a virgin , I would like to experiment sex with a married woman whom I just met .”
— Dick:” You naughty boy . Do you fantasize ? “ .
— Nico:” No, but I do drink Fanta and do have a handful hand . What about you . You are so tall with a commanding presence .”
—- Dick:” I used to have a platoon under my command . Once , I had a soldier named John , whose father has just died, and I had to break him the news in a gentle way . So, I assembled my regiment and said: ‘ All those with fathers dismissed ‘. As John was about to join the others, I shouted :’ John , where the hell you think you are going . “
— Nico:” (laughing) How funny and cruel you are . Now that we are buddies, I am going to show you a secret . “ ( Nico opens his jacket , wide-fully and show him two bottles hidden in each of his pockets. A grey goose Vodka and a black label whisky .)
—- Dick: “ You drunkard bastard . Why do you hide them in your pockets ? “ .
— Nico:” Being an illegal emigrant, I am badly paid . So in return , I screw the management . For each drink , I pour once from the bottles on the shelf, and twice from the bottles in my pockets . In this way, I make extra money. Now that I told you my secret, why not tell me yours . “.
—- Dick:” My problem is belittle . Still can’t put my finger on it . Either, I am too small or she is too large ….minded. Simply said, she is icy cold . “.
— Nico:” No problem. You need to spice to spice your marriage with Kinky games. I suggest , that tomorrow, you dress as a Texan Cowboy with a revolver on your side. Start with foreplay, and just before making love, shoot a bullet in the air. She’ll get scared and tight from fright. Best sex ever, like an Archimedean screw .
—-Dick:” Tomorrow night I will be traveling. So, I’ll do it after tomorrow. Good night and thanks for the tip . “
TO BE CONTINUED.