Six years have elapsed, while hidden in a gallery, awaiting with nostalgia to meet my next romantic paramour.
All day and night, I hear the sound of explosions and the wailing of women.
One sunny day , a handsome bold officer entered the curio shop. He started negotiating with the
Aquarian until my price prolapsed to a ridiculous low.
Once the sale of the century concluded, the seller said :
– “ Take good care of her . She is fragile and vulnerable. “ The buyer replied :
– “ Don’t worry. This masterpiece will be living at Government House , where all past and present prime minister reside . By the way my code name is J “ .
– Once settled in my new home, under the portraits of premiers , I heard my master , whispered to himelf:
– “ Schmuck. How blind must I have been, seeing the half truth , with only one eye.” There is a gentle knock at the door . J OPENS it and say :
– “ Shalom Mr. P .
P.- “ Salaam “ replied the new comer, with a slight bow of the head and his hands touching his
forehead.
P.- “ Are you a member of the Knesset ?
J.- “ No but I practice mental telekinesis on my people .”.
After settling down and whispering in each other ear , the following conversation took place ,
accompanied by a musical rhythm:
J.- “ We are the super race
Super and spiritual
We kick Arabs and cry
Run faster and complain
U N on our side
So why give an inch back.”
P.- “ Oh Jew man O Jew man
Be fair like Suleiman
We take half. You take half
For if we cut the babe
We will both bleed to death
But why I see you laugh? “.
J.- “ Piss..Piss..Piss..Piss I Piss on Peace. We will never make peace When the price is the sea . “
P.” Which sea ? The Med.or Red ? “.
J.- “ Of course It’s the Dead Sea “.
P.- “ Since we reached an impasse Start learning how to swim “ .
J.-“ No need for that for if we loose The Seas will drown Arabs and Jews .” For each time a war doth break out Twenty planes with nukes are airborne “ .
P.- “ Why do we hate each other so much? IN common, we have great grandpas They say , hate breeds hating , And loving breeds love “.
J.-“ But the hate of a lover is excessive love .”
P.- “ Then why when someone loves , An Arab or a Jew , It’s considered taboo ? “ .
J.- “ We Can’t afford intermarriage, We will drown in a sea of flesh . “ .
P.-“ Then let ‘s move forward, And not look backward, Lest we change into , A Pillar of Salt .
Let’s posthaste our issues , And avoid indulging,
In the whole megillah, Verbal accrobatics. “ .
J. – “ Ask me any question. “.
P. – “ Why are you building settlements all around ! “ .
J. – “ Simple . If we ever have peace, and if Bethlehem and Jerusalem become internationalized ;
we may have a joint mayorship of Arabs and Jews. By surrounding the two cities with Jewish Settlements, we will insure retaining a majority of 3 to 1 in the mayoral council . “ .
P.- “ Why not then make all contested areas international. We will become richer than Switzerland. Blood shedding will cease oozing , and tourism will boom , especially if we can
convince the Pope to move the Vatican , to either Bethlehem or Jerusalem , the rightful place of the Holy See . “ .
J.- “ But we are the chosen people. We are still awaiting our Jehovah. “.
P.-“ Do you believe that God works in mysterious ways ? . “ .
J.-“ Of course . “ .
P. – “ What if the New Messiah is born from a Jewish mother and a Palestinian father . Will you accept Him . “ . ( Silence) .
J.-“ Your idea is premature and a bit aerie. Let’s put our minds in an empty state of tabula rasa without pre conditions and restart from the beginning. “
P-“ NO WAY . My mind is already going shilly-shally in a tizzy way . It’s really a tragedy seeing two people, living so close together , and yet drifting so far apart . Let’s ride the tide of our differences , steer a new course of understanding, and dock in a safe haven port. Let’s once and for all , sink our salty anger , deep down to the bottom of the dead sea . Why Can’t this be so ? .“
J. –“ Cos when we are together , we almost agree on everything , but when we go out, we tell our people completely the opposite . So, we must first elevate our soul from It’s earthly base, to a heavenly height, whereby our differences may be discovered and redefined , and our bizarre relationship, defreezed and drizzled , and the mystical masticated like a buzzing mosquito. “
P.-“ I am exhausted. I cannot understand anything you said. Your last phrase sounds nonsensical. “
J.-“ I know , but it appeals to my acoustical aesthetics. “
P.-“ Hopeless case . Since we reached yet another deadlock, bye bye Peace”
J.-“ At least , let us stay friends and keep talking. You never can tell. What are you having for dinner tonight?”
P.-“ What else but couscous and you?
J.-“ A kosher Kohlrabi . Before you depart , would you like me to teach you how to dance Haga Nagila. They say, that through music, we may reach harmony. “
P.-“ And I’ll teach you how to dance the Dabkeh. But on one condition. After the Nagilah, we will have an Argilah .I think you call it a hookah .”
J.-“ Deal. “
Both J and P start dancing to the tunes of Hava Nagilah and the Dabkeh while in the background, the voice of Fairouz is singing ‘ Jerusalem bride of the sea .’
While dancing , both J and P are holding their shoulders together and swinging their legs in the air , once to the right , and once to the left , and sometimes backward , like a jete in ballet . After the dance , they both start to hubble-bubble and together they say: J&P – “ Let us puff the dreams of our people into the airy-fairy air . Still we expect Norway and
Sweden to honor us with the Kudos Award for trying much to make peace .