I feel hungry and angry, because the ship ‘ La belle Poule ´ , took a long time , before it docked in France. I was sent to the Louvre in Paris and placed under the iconic portrait of the Mona Lisa , with her moony, crescent – shaped smile.
They pinned down a hat on my head , a chic chapeau , and covered my pebbles-shaped eyes , with Miu Miu sunglasses . They installed a recorder in my stomach, linked to an outside button , which when pressed, I will start speaking my story, like a ventriloquist. I have never been so much touched or admired by so many people.
They will first look at me ,and then the Mona Lisa One night , after so many many years, I heard footsteps in the dark. Suddenly, I was grabbed, wrapped, and shipped in a box . I felt so claustrophobic, as if buried alive. Then, I heard a commanding voice say :
___ “ AH . My Master will be pleased to treasure such a precious masterpiece. . Carry her gently and put her on the steam train. As soon as we arrived, I was stripped naked, and placed in a room of a dark dungeon The room has two mirrors. On one mirror is written ‘ Mine Past ‘ , and on the other ‘ Mine Present ‘ .
My first encounter with my short ,sadist lover , was when he first entered the room and stood naked in front of the ‘ Mine Past Mirror ‘ . He covered his hair with a blonde wig, and said, first softly , and then, in a forceful and powerful voice
—- “ Mirror, Mirror, on the wall , I am the fairest of them all . Look at those gifted , artistic hands , specially created to paint . I can’t understand why , when I asked for a loan , I was rejected by the Vienna Academy . I will always remember those responsible for abruptly ending my dreams, and shall never forget their ingratitude. [ He then presses the button on the Vase , which starts to talk . ]
—- “ voice of vase : “ He instantly fell in love with the illusion of his tall body , blonde hair and blue eyes. He compared himself to Clark Gable and Gustav Klimt . “ .
—- Hitler: “ Mirror Mirror on the wall , help me start practicing my voice and my tactical movements to incite and influence the masses to blind submission.[ He stretch and raise his right hand forward and shouts ] Zig Heil…Fahr zur Holle… Go to hell. “ .
—- Voice of Vase : “ His golden hair is long , reaching down to his knees . The nail on his forefinger is 30 cm long . He mainly use it to clean his orfices , after which , he collects and bottles his secretions, to be used as aphrodisiacs. He falsely believes , that it gives him , supernatural powers to hypnotize millions of people. “.
—— Hitler : “ [ scratch his head and screams.] “ Untermenschen . Fleece and lice . Didn’t bathe since long . Rain Rain , so I can go out and shower . No more crummy moth- eaten rags .
___ Voice of Vase : “ When thirsty , he quaffs urine and spread spermatozoa on bread . From the ceiling and hanging on hooks , are rats , caught from rat hunting in the sewage. “ [ Lights off and when on again ,
Hitler is standing in front of the present mirror , dressed in military outfit .
A human mannequin is hanging from the ceiling, painted with different colors of the map of Europe. Next to him is a dummy German shepherd dog . Each time, Hitler speaks , the dog barks , once or twice , in approval. ]
—- Hitler: “ I was meant to be a collector of Arts . Now , I am a collector of souls . With my voice , I mesmerized the masses and became the feared Fuhrer of the third Reich . I am a by- product of the Arian Super race [ looking down at his dog , he says ] And you too Blondie , with your fair and yellow hair .
[He stares at the map and continue to say] My appetite for World domination is non negotiable . I will start dissecting the parts , one by one . As an appetizer, I will devour a Viennese Schnitzel .
A French croissant for breakfast, and a sausage or foie à l’anglaise for dinner . What shall I do with the blood ? Ya Ya . The blut , I will offer as wine to my enemies . It will cure their epilepsy . The bones , I’ll throw to my dog Blondie . “.
—-Voice of Vase : “ His mind flashed backwards to the battlefields . Through the flares , he saw blood and body parts everywhere . With Hitler , keep your distance , and avoid contact with his Medusa eyes , lest you turn into stone .
He no longer could tell the difference between day and night . His left hand is trembling . Is it from Arthritis or lack of Art ? . He prematurely aged . He looks seventy instead of fifty six .”
—- Hitler:”. The army has betrayed me . I will never surrender. What is 20.000 a day to die for the Führer. I have fallen from the Eagles Nest in the Austrian Alps , to the Abyss Bunker of Berlin . It’s time to make a will, to tell my people , how much I loved them . I shall wed , die and be cremated on the same day .
A record by any means . I never waged wars . It’s self defense. Mutter , I had to protect the Fatherland . I rose from Hell , and I will set , back and beyond , as an Angel of Death. In starting or ending a war , it’s not right or wrong that matters, but Victory and the crushing of the enemy . . “
—-Voice of Vase:” Didn’t you learn from History . Both you and Napoleon made a faux pas by attacking Russia and brought upon yourselves the beginning of the end ,with devastating results.”
—-Hitler: “ I labeled the Red Army as Dwarfs . How am I to know , that a heavy Snow White will come to protect them ! I only had good intentions . I wanted world peace and a new order . I thought that by eliminating minorities , I will establish one homogeneous super race . “
—- Voice of Vase: “ You wanted World dominance but you could have done it without shedding blood . If only you reallocated all minorities of the same gender or belief and gave them a territory of their own to govern themselves. Then , perhaps you would have achieved world peace .”
— Hitler : “ A nation is only strong with a healthy population. That’s is why , I wanted annual medical check ups , to determine who to put to sleep, so as not to be a burden on their family and their nation .
At birth , children ought to be taken from their parents and raised by the State. In this way , they will grow without affection , and not be affected by the stupid talk of parents. They will become better citizens .
Had I succeeded to develop the secret weapon, the outcome would have been different. I have already given orders to eliminate all scientists, so as not to fall into the hands of the advancing armies. [.
A voice is heard shouting that the Russians are closing in and are only a few distance from the Bunker. Hitler’s dog starts to bark continuously. Hitler starts hitting the dog with his boots , until the barking turns into sobbing and then silence.
—- Hitler:” Auf. Wiedersehen .Adieu my constant companion . You have heard all my secrets. I can’t leave you behind. The Allies will teach you how to speak and then will torture you, and illicit all my secrets. [ The stage is now dark . You can only hear the voices of Hitler and Eva . ].
—- Voice of Eva :” Do you remember the day I wanted to commit suicide for you . Our relationship has been mainly Platonic . Being both semi virgins , how are we going to consummate the marriage ? . Which position would you prefer ? .
— Hitler : “ The SS .”
—- Eva:” Would you like them to be present?”.
—- Hitler :” I meant SS , sex à la swastika. “
—- Eva : “ I see . “
—- Hitler:” Exactly . I C for Intellectual climax , so I can have a swastika smile when I go to sleep .”
—- Voice of Eva :” Why not C I ? Coitus interruptus.[ She lies on the sofa with her knees tight to her chest ] .
— Hitler :” Too late for that . Come here , you and Blondie . Before you di – or love , take this poison mixed with champagne. [Silence. Two shots are heard , and the smell of gasoline . A voice of a Russian soldier is heard saying ].
— Voice of Russian soldier : “ We are already too late . Let us dig this hole and send the remains to Russia .But wait . Who is this lying next to him . ? “ .
THE END .